Marriage??

Reading is so important huh, brothers and sisters??? All the theories from reading is important for us to prepare for our practical life. I found out this article written by Abu Thabit from this beautiful website ‘matrimony’ which is about marriage. MasyaAllah worth reading (very freaking funny and not boring at all.So READLAH!) and I want to share it with you guys out there. Check it out check it out peeps! =) p/s : (few sentences have been changed). The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence.." (Bukhari)

Marriage is never an easy thing. We think of it as this amazing romantic bliss that we will somehow attain one day.Sisters dream of marrying that amazing brother who has the character of the Messenger of Allaah, the Imaan of Abu Bakr, the courage of Hamzah, the wealth of ‘Abd Rahmaan bin ‘Awf, bla bla bla..the list goes on..  Everyone wants to marry that one truly amazing person and it is not much different for guys.

For guys, they wish to bump into a Hurun-’Ain (or Ainul Mardhiah. hehe) that has lost her way from Jannah (we aren’t too fussy about HOW she got lost, what is important is that she wants to marry us) <hahaha! is that true brothersss??> I mean why wouldn’t that ever happen? It won’t happen, because you are daydreaming bro, that’s why.

Let us BE REALISTIC.

Chances are, you’re not going to bump into Shaikh Misyari’s daughter, or Shaikh Sudais’s son, or let alone the Shaikh himself, and even if you did, I highly doubt any of them would ask you for marriage < HAHAHAHAHA! So true! I also doubt myself! Oh so freaking funny kan kan this writer?? =) >  So try to keep your hopes realistic, yes we all want to marry a Haafiz and Haafizah, we all want a sister who knows all about pleasing a husband but never had a boyfriend before and man who never had a girlfriend before. (or bak kata Ustaz Hasrizal, buayafriend and gelifriend before. hehe) We all want a brother who is super pious (the longer the beard the bigger the Taqwa right?) who also owns a house and has a car, plus he should be really knowledgeable too, like Ali bin Abi Talib knowledgeable, preferably not blind though, oh and a six pack wouldn’t harm either. <oh so materialistic hah sisterssss?? why we choose the dunya? is it so important for uss??hmmmm... I’m wondering..>

But we often forget, that when you marry someone, they still have their whole life ahead of them. Most of the wives of the major scholars married these amazing men whilst they still were ‘nobodies’ and similarly you teach your wife (with gentleness) how to be romantic and it is all a journey. If you think that you will marry that one complete person who has everything, you will never marry and that’s the harsh truth.

First big Question for ME: <ye, saye> ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR MARRIAGE?

I don’t mean to scare you away by raising this question, as Muslims we should always aim to get married since it is the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet. But sometimes, some people rush into marriage. They think just because they are physically ready that they should get married, forgetting that even the Prophet actually mentioned that those who have the MEANS to get married should do so. Now having the means is not just having a mature body, or even loads of cash. Rather it also about being mentally stable and able to cope with the hardships of marriage. <hmm... definitely. mentally stable. I don’t have the answer for this question>

Don’t worry though, in marriage all you need is love to make things work (like they always say right?) so no need to over think things, love conquers all! Except that’s a total lie, marriage needs so much more, and even though love is a key element in marriage it is not always what keeps a marriage going. Remember marriage is not all sunshine and fun, sometimes you will argue sometimes you wont love each other as much, what will happen then? Will you ask for a divorce just because the marriage isn’t fun anymore? What if there are children involved, then what? The point is, prepare yourself for marriage mentally. Read up on the rights of the Husband and the rights of the Wife, don’t just marry because you’re 20 and feel you have to. This husband will be either your Jannah or Hell, do you really know what that means? <InsyaAllah I know and I understand.Husband- Jannah or hell????? >  For husband, similarly this wife and future children will be your responsibility, Allaah will ask you about them and everything they do, so be prepared. Believe it or not brothers, marriage is more than just mating and lying in bed. Shocking I know!

Second big question for ME --> WOULD YOU MARRY YOURSELF?

‘Of course I would, I am pure awesomeness, I am the very defin…’ if that is your answer then I can tell you right now that you don’t really have the right mentality for marriage. We often get blinded by the search for the ultimate partner that we neglect to look at ourselves. What you do to change yourselves? How do you treat people when you get upset? What do you do if you hold a grudge? Do not turn a blind eye to all these important issues, rather tackle them one by one. No one is perfect but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be trying. If you truly and sincerely work on your own flaws, and really do become more caring and loving then you will notice how people will look at you differently.

advice for me: look at yourself. not others! but sometimes it's so HARD!