I just read a book title “Life is an Open Secret”. (kesian ketinggalan zaman,org lain dh lama bc buku ni.hehe.) I was amazed with the stories written by the writer, Sis. Zabrina A.Bakar especially on a story about “Decide your Path Wisely”.
This is her story not mine. I’m just reflecting, sharing and I think this story is beneficial not only for me, but for the others too.
One day she saw an article posted by her friend title “Would you marry me?” After finish reading it, she just sat on the chair, pondering. She started to ask herself one vital question:
“If I met a person (that person is herself) who has a long list of characteristics, behaviours and attitudes, would she marry her?” If she is a guy, would she marry a woman named Zabrina?? Would
she?
And this is Aina’s story @ a respond from her story. hehe. After reading her story, I started to think and reflect on myself. I have to evaluate on my current behaviours, attitude and habits.. how about my relationship with God and others? One question that I always ask myself, if my beloved Prophet Muhammad see me, what would he says?? Am I a good Muslim? How about my appearance? Do you think Prophet Muhammad will like me with all the attitudes and behaviours that I have? Allahu ‘alam.. I’m just trying to be a better Muslim..but still, a lot more to be improved.
so, back to the story.. sis Zabrina began to ponder.. “Would I marry ME?” how about you dear readers? would u marry yourself?? (if u are another person la kan...) and surprisingly she said, the answer that come out from her is ‘MAYBE’ instead of ‘definitely! or of course!’ then she asked herself what to do to help her change her answer from maybe to definitely YES! Then she started creating a list of questions:
· would I befriend me? would I take me as a friend?
· would I trust me? would I trust a person like me?
· would I love me? would I love someone like me?
· would I daughter/ mother/ sister me?
· would I student me?
Oh gosh! Her questions really make me feel like ‘duh! I need to change! I think I’m good with my friendS.. but how about my relationship, my attitudes with my family? If I’m a mother, would I love me as a daughter? If I’m my sister, would I love having ME as a sister? No. I’m NOT a good sister, not a good daughter, not a good granddaughter.. I always make my grandma sad..Oh God please forgive me.. Oh tok.. I’m so upset with myself. I’m also not very close with my father.. mybe becoz since I was small I live with my grandma and I didn’t get the chance to be close with him. But still! no accuses! I need to change. and I of my plan is to start pray to Allah, ask for His help..only He can help me.
I need to change whatever things which are not good within myself, bit by bit. It’s going to take some time, but, I HAVE TO DO IT because one day, I will be questioned by my Lord. Can you imagine in the day of judgement, our name will be called in front of the whole mankind? and what make it worst, all of our wrongdoings will be shown to everybody. How embarrassing and humiliating it would be!! Ya Allah I beg you.. please cover my aib..I don’t want everybody knows the sins that I’ve made in this earth.. I don’t think I could face it and I know I couldn’t face it. How if my sins are more than the good deeds? I will be throwing into the hell? NO! I don’t want it to be happenning.. I don’t want my body feel and touch the fire even for 1 second. It is too scary and painful!
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