The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence.." (Bukhari)
Allah has created men and women differently. One of the most pronounced differences between genders when it comes to issues of intimacy is arousal. Each gender has been keyed to respond to different senses. If a couple wishes to maximize feelings of closeness and intimacy, it is essential that each party understands the other’s arousal mechanism.
For men, the primary sense of arousal is physical.Seeing the figure, smelling the aroma, and touching the body of a woman is what arouses a man. When a man’s physical needs are satisfied, he is most likely to reciprocate with emotional responses.
For a woman, on the other hand, the primary sense of arousal is emotional. Feeling loved, appreciated and cared for are the underlying emotional factors that will mostly make the woman love back in return. When a woman’s emotional needs are satisfied, she is more likely to reciprocate with physical responses. A woman wants her husband to be her friend, companion, and soul mate.
Any good husband must realize that a woman’s primary need is emotional.He must take into account the prophetic tradition “The best of you are those who are best to their wives,” [Sahih al-Bukhari], and then strive to be the best to his wife.
Men have been assigned the responsibility by Allah to take care of their wives, and this entails treating them with love and respect, and striving to make them happy. If a husband can fulfill his wife.s primary needs, not only will Allah reward him, his wife will be content with him, and together the couple’s life will be more harmonious. Moreover, when a woman’s needs are fulfilled she will be more willing to fulfill her husband’s needs.
The best way to satisfy a woman’s emotional needs is to listen to her and respond to her with compassion. By listening to her intently, with your undivided attention, and taking a genuine interest in what she has to say, she will feel loved, cherished and important. Realize that when she approaches you with her problems, she doesn’t necessarily want solutions, she just wants sympathy and understanding.
One of the biggest sources of conflict in a marriage is this simple lack of understanding. Women feel used when their husbands take advantage of them physically but ignore their emotional needs. On the other hand, men feel frustrated that their wives are so withdrawn and cold during acts of intimacy, complaining both at the quantity and quality of these acts. Both parties need to give more of what the other party wants, in order to receive back what they themselves desire.
A marriage is a give-and-take relationship. It is a two way street. You must give the best of what your partner wants in order to obtain the best of what you wish to receive. Men need to learn to be more sensitive and understanding, and women need to learn to be more physical.
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Source : Like A Garment Email Series by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi
P/s: seek knowledge then you will never regret.
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